


going on with you gone

by strawberryfire



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Fix-It, Harringrove, M/M, Post Season 3, Post-Canon Fix-It, Season 3 Spoilers, Wholesome, concerned robin™️, kinda angsty, steve kickin ass
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-21
Updated: 2019-07-21
Packaged: 2020-07-10 04:22:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,153
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19899760
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/strawberryfire/pseuds/strawberryfire
Summary: it's hard to deal with the pain of losin' you everywhere I go, but I'm doing itit's hard to force that smile when i see our old friends and i'm alone, still harder getting up, getting dressed, living with this regret—a kinda angsty but mostly wholesome fix it fic i wrote on a road trip—based off of what hurts the most by rascal flatts





	going on with you gone

it was a lazy sunday afternoon at family video. it was just robin and steve in the silent store. steve was sitting on a stool, feet propped up on the counter, staring into space.

it had been 121 days and 17 weeks since billy died.

steve would play the scene over and over and over in his head. max screaming her brothers name. the sound of his own heart shattering in his chest.

it was getting harder by the day to force a smile. everywhere steve went lately, billy seemed to be there. steve would see this guy come through the door on wednesday’s after school with his kids and he had the same curly hair billy did. steve would have to go in the back and try to tie the rubber band holding him together even tighter, then suck it up and go back out front.

because no one knew. no one knew about how much steve loved billy. not even robin, someone who steve has learned to trust with his whole life.

today was rough. max had called him that morning, crying about the nightmare she had about billy that night. steve calmed her down, promising that billy was always with her.

she whispered, “i miss him so much.” before hanging up.

steve leaned back in his chair, twirling a pencil and thinking about how much he fucked up.

he was living with this regret on his shoulders that weighed as much as the earth.

he left billy for dead. steve could have helped billy get out of the mind flayer’s control. he could have saved the one person who made him feel in love since nancy wheeler.

billy’s weak, “i’m sorry” echos in steve’s head.

the only solace steve was able to take from this was that billy wasn’t suffering anymore. he wasn’t being hurt by his father.

steve knew about neil. whenever steve would try his best to kindly bring it up, billy always just sneered, “why the fuck do you care?” 

“because even though you’re a douchebag, i’m worried about your safety hargrove.”

billy would roll his eyes and never reply.

“you can come to my house if you ever need a place to go, billy.” steve would say as serious as possible.

billy still would never say anything back.

it broke steve’s heart so much it hurt.

“helllooo? steve. dingus. harrington.” robin’s worried voice snaps steve out of his thoughts.

“h-huh?” steve feels tears on his cheeks.

“you’re really worrying me, steve. i’ve been calling your name for five minutes.” she’s sat on the counter in front of him, her hand on his shoulder.

“sorry i…i didn’t sleep last night.”

“yeah, i can tell.” she laughs a little. “seriously, what’s up? we’ve never really talked about you know…the russian shit.”

steve raises an eyebrow, “what do you mean?”

“the trauma, steve.”

“eh, it wasn’t traumatizing. i think it’s a cool story.”

“what about billy?”

steve breath hitches as the door to the shop rings. the party walk in, bickering as usual.

robin holds her finger up and they stop.

“steve, what about billy?”

“i-i don’t know what you’re talking about.” steve tries so so hard to hold back the tears in his eyes.

“you wish you could have saved him.”

steve looks at her, then at max. she’s looking at him, tears in her eyes too.

“we all wish we could have saved him…” eleven says softly. “but he saved us…he’s a hero, steve.”

robin nods, “billy was special to you, steve, wasn’t he?”

steve nods a little.

“you loved him, i know you did.” robin gently rubs his back.

steve takes his feet off the counter and puts his head in his hands, every little thing that was holding him together broke and he was sobbing.

robin puts his arms around him, the kids following suit.

“h-he loved you too, stevie.” max whispers.

they hear the phone ring. steve takes a deep breath and sniffs. he answers the phone and there’s static.

“steve!” billy’s voice cries. “i-i don’t know where i-i am, i-it took me s-somewhere!”

steve’s eyes turn to the size of saucers as he looks at max, “b…billy?”

“p-please!” steve hears the screech of the demadogs, then the static gets louder and louder until the line cuts off.

steve drops the phone in disbelief.

“i heard it too.” dustin quickly says, “you’re not crazy. that was definitely him.”

“but…he died…” max says. “he stopped breathing. he said i’m sorry and h-he stopped breathing.”

eleven nods. “but he bled black.”

“he what?” mike says.

“didn’t you see? he bled black, not red. that means that was the mind flayer simply leaving his body. and there were two billy’s.”

steve is still silent and trying to process everything.

“you’re right,” robin says. “the flayed billy could have somehow dragged the other to the upside down.”

steve gets up without a word and goes to the car.

“steve let us get together a plan first!” dustin says.

steve looks back at him with tears stream down his face, “i-i can d-do this.”

steve puts his bat and gun in the passenger side, then speeds off.

robin sighs, “cmon.” she puts the kids in her car and drives after him.

steve parks at starcourt, which is at the moment, standing abandoned. there was going to be a town meeting about what to do about it next week.

he was so spaced out and running purely on adrenaline.

steve walks inside the mall, and there’s a glowing blue light in the center where the fountain used to be.

_the upside down._

“steve!” dustin voice calls out as they run in after him, “you can’t just go in there by yourself!”

steve doesn’t care. he’s willing to doing anything. don’t they see? billy’s _alive_. billy’s okay and he’s scared. he’s terrified out of his mind.

robin stares into the portal, “what the fuck is that?”

“the upside down,” eleven says softly.

“it’s an alternate dimension,” dustin explains.”it’s where the mind flayer came from.”

out of nowhere, a demadog jumps out and before it can knock robin down, steve wacks it out cold.

robin just stands there, “so that’s what the bat’s for…you all continue to amaze me.”

dustin ties a rope around steve’s waist, “this is so you can find your way back.”

steve nods.

max stands in front of the portal. it has the ashy dust floating around and there’s black goo at the base of it.

“max,” lucas gently pulls her back, “don’t get close.”

she just lets him hold her, as she continues to stare into the other dimension.

“you got enough bullets?” robin asks.

steve nods again.

“please say something you’re freaking me out.”

“i’ll be fine, dingus. i know what i’m doing.”

she rolls her eyes, “alright, shitbird, sure you do.”

“he’s kicked demadog ass before.” lucas says.

steve smiles a little then looks back at the glowing portal. he could die. but it would be worth it.

he hugs each one of the kids, lingering a little longer with max.

“i’m gonna get your brother back, max.”

she hugs him again, “i know you will.”

robin hugs him, “please, for scoop’s sake, stay safe.”

steve laughs a little, “will do, captain.”

robin smiles as steve takes a deep breath and walks into the upside down.

it’s silent. lonely, scary and silent.

he’s still in starcourt, just even more abandoned than the real one.

he walks around, “billy? billy, it’s steve! y’know, harrington!”

god he sounds like an idiot.

there doesn’t seem to be an live demogorgons wandering around, which is a relief. the only ones steve sees are dead as nails.

he sees a small light coming from behind the counter of scoops ahoy and slowly walks toward it, “billy?”

steve sees a figure slowly stand up and he shines the flashlight on it.

the baby blues he knew so well were looking right back at him. they’re a little grayer now, and there are tears on his cheeks.

steve keeps his voice as soft and steady as he could without having a breakdown, “billy…you’re okay, o-oh my god…i…”

billy’s hands are shaking as he timidly makes his way over to steve.

“a-am i dreaming…o-or is that you,  
h-harrington?” a smile slowly creeps up billy’s face and steve laughs. for the first time in 121 days and 17 weeks, steve laughs.

“not even an inter-dimensional demon will change you huh?”

billy wraps his arms around steve, “i-it’s changed m-me alright.” his voice sounds strained from crying and screaming.

they don’t say anything. they stand there, holding onto each other for dear life.

“uhh, steve! you dead?!” he hears dustin shout.

steve is about to call back when he hears a low growl and billy tenses in his arms.

a demadog comes out of the shadows and steve twirls his bat. “come at me motherfucker!”

billy hides back behind the counter as steve plants his feet; just like billy taught him.

the dog lunges as steve and he hits it hard like a baseball, sending it flying across the mall and knocking it out cold.

“that is the hottest fuckin thing i’ve ever seen, steve harrington.” billy says softly.

steve laughs a little, “thanks. i’ve done it before.”

billy comes back out behind the counter, “y’know this place is peaceful. if you ignore the monsters.”

they stand side by side, looking around the abandoned wasteland.

“how did you fight back?” steve asks.

“i didn’t. i hid. thankfully whatever the thing that had me really is dead…it’s all just the scary flower dog things.”

steve looks at him, “scary flower dog things?”

billy nods, completely sure of himself.

“it’s a damn good thing you’re cute.”

billy blushes, “cmon, let’s go back, i dont know how i got here but i know i never want to come back here again.” he takes his hand, holding it tightly as they run back to the portal.

max sobs, “billy!”

billy runs to her, picking her up and spinning her around.

steve steps out, pushing his hair back.

max is crying hard into her brothers chest, who’s shirt is still stained with the black blood.

“you did it, dingus. did you fuck? how cool would that have been, to fuck in whatever that hellish place is.” robin says.

steve entire face turns red, “robin buckley!”

“whaaaat? that was my way of saying you got infinite you rule points, popeye.”

steve rolls his eyes playfully, “oh goodie.”

billy lets go of max, “you planted your feet.”

“well yeah. you told me to in gym my senior year.”

“just surprised you listened.”

“cmon now can you act more like someone who was killed by a scary ass rat monster then spent 171 days and 17 weeks in an alternate world.” steve complains.

billy blushes a little, “you counted?”

“aww he counted!” robin laughs. “damn you are whiiiipped.”

before steve says another word, billy cups his face and kisses him.

steve kisses back and there’s a chorus of “ewww’s” from the party.

they’re both blushing as red as roses.

“you have no idea how much sleep i’ve lost over you, billy.”

billy smiles a little, “thanks, i guess.”

he lets go of steve, then stands in front of lucas, “hey kid…i’m really sorry for being a douche to you…thank you so much for taking care of my sister, even if she can be just as douchey as me.”

“heyyyy!” max huffs and crosses her arms.

billy sticks out his hand, “truce?”

lucas shakes his hand and nods, “truce. and you’re welcome, about max.”

billy turns around and faces el, “eleven. that’s your name right?”

she nods.

“thank you...i just…how did you know?”

“know what?” robin asks.

“seven feet…my mom, the beach, the fighting…” billy says softly.

“i just did.” eleven hugs him tightly. billy sniffs and holds her to his chest. steve joins the hug, then max, then everyone else.

“it hurts for a long time, billy…” will says softly after a few minutes. “it never leaves but…it gets better. we’re gonna help.”

steve kisses billy’s forehead, “and i got your father arrested. he’s in california, and he’s never coming back.”

billy looks at him and tears up, “y-you did...? did h-he hurt max?”

steve shakes his head, “no, but he deserves to rot in hell for the shit he’s done to you, billy.”

billy starts crying again, clinging to steve for dear life.

“cmon, let’s get you home.” steve kisses the top of his head and walks to the car with him.

the car ride home consisted of max and eleven screaming the lyrics to material girl, and billy laughing so hard at the two girls he couldn’t breathe.

yeah, will was right, billy thought. it’ll never leave but it’ll sure as hell get better.


End file.
